Future

Sometimes I dream about us in the future packing up and moving far away for a new adventure, it’s a dream but we have said that we will one day do just that. I dream about spending more time in the mountains, winning the lottery, living close to family, what I would sew if I had the time and lots of other big picture, generalized life stuff.

But what the future holds in the details; what it looks like for me, for us as a family and particularly for Jonathan, I can’t even begin to imagine.

I can’t even make it past thinking about our big school meeting in a few days, or wondering if he’ll listen tomorrow.

Whatever the future holds for Jonathan I wish for 3 things for him (ok, it’s more like 7 but 3 sounds better)

That he is happy and healthy
That he is kind, that he helps others and is empathetic
That he comes to a place of understanding where he comes from and accepts who he is

We know that kids like Jonathan have a harder shot at become ideal citizens, top students, business leaders, and all the other idealistic things that one can hope of achieving.

But I’ve always believed in the underdog.

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Baby, you’re a firework, go on let your colours burst…

 

*This post is part of the Weekly Adoption Shout Out and follows this weeks theme “The Future” over at The Adoption Social. Please check out this amazingly supportive adoption community, and also read some other great adoption blogs.

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The Good and The Bad Update

Things continue to be nutty around here and as such I haven’t had time to write as much as I want to or as thoughtfully as I want to. But, I thought I would spit out a wee update.

First the not so great update:

A couple weeks ago we had our first ‘operation destroy my bedroom’ happen. It was a terrible day all around that stood out like a sore thumb amongst generally good days (at home anyway).
In the morning I mistakenly told Jonathan that we were having friends over that night. He happened to know the lady because she was a worker in the group home where he stayed for a few months at one point, and now who Gord works with. He clearly had some confused feelings over it all because after a disastrous hour at home of hitting and screaming I took him for a big walk to try to break the cycle but that turned into a biting, screaming, hitting match on the sidewalk.
Back at home he continued to be aggressive to the point where I put him in his room and had to hold the door closed. Every time he was calm I would go in and try to sit with him and he would again start punching and scratching so I would get up and leave and we’d start again. In the end, hours later, everything in his room was dumped and thrown and he was one tired and emotional boy. We eventually cleaned up together after having a little chat. Needless to say we cancelled out plans for the night. Lesson learned.

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I continue to miss more and more work because Jonathan has now been put on a modified schedule at school because they can’t/won’t handle him for the whole time of kindergarten…a whole 2 hours and 45 minutes. So we are now going for 1 hour and 15 minutes meaning I miss two hours of work each morning. This plus being blind sided by an arrogant and rude principal that they want to move him to another school – just temporarily, for kids who are emotionally disturbed (and where they restrain children and have time out rooms). Then they would move him back to this school. Ummm, did they not get the notice about the fact he has attachment issues?! Gord and I both refuse to move him to this school but we are not sure if we have many options left if they continue to fight us on it.
We know what needs to happen: 1. They need to get a better 1:1 aide (yes he has a full time aide, but they are terrible and he still manages to run out of class, hit kids and generally be a turkey…what is the aide doing? Good question) 2. They need to be implementing our ideas and strategies in the class room instead of punishing him and timing him out 3. They need to include him in the class and have the same expectations as the other kids instead of him coming for 1 hour and sitting at a table by himself and not being required to line up etc. This one makes me the most angry. And 4. They need to give him time; we saw the same patterns when he first moved in with us, when he first started day care and now at school. He needs time.
I’m so grateful I work for a flexible company who understands that I need to take time off for meetings, emails, late drop offs etc. but at some point they are going to have to say enough is enough if things continue like this. My goal is to have it resolved by Christmas but that may be wishful thinking.

Now the fun stuff!

Two weekends ago our fire stations had open houses. Jonathan has a thing for all things emergency, but firetrucks dominate his love. I took him and he was so stunned he held my hand as we walked into the station (or ‘spaceship’ as he calls it) and was quiet for about 21 seconds. He got to climb all over the trucks and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so big:)

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Last weekend was Thanksgiving and Gord and I were very thankful to a wonderful support in our life for watching Jonathan while we got to have a mini getaway down to Montana. It was so, so quiet and wonderful. The hotel was amazing with fantastically delicious food and it was really nice for it to be just the two of us.

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Now, I am currently working on a plan buy a log cabin in the mountains and grow carrots for my 2 horses that I will board while I sew on the side and Gord teaches. A girl can dream…

Hoping that this week is a quiet one:)

 

The Corn Circle

This time last year we knew we had been matched with Jonathan but were waiting for a court date to pass because of a mistake that the social workers had made. Without the court stuff being finalized we couldn’t schedule our infoshare and it was an intense time.

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To make things even more torturous, or great depending on the day and how I looked at it, we had an ‘in’ with Jonathan and knew what he was up to and how he was doing through my boss (at the time) because she was doing respite for him. But, we weren’t allowed to meet or talk to him or have anything to do with him yet.

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The waiting was really getting to me and one weekend I knew my boss was having Jonathan over and they were going to the corn maze. It’s a huge place with not only a corn maze but a petting zoo, bouncy castles, games, and more, and it looked like crazy fun.

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I remember being so mad and the word jealous probably doesn’t do my feelings justice. I wanted to be taking him there. I wanted to be doing fun things. The longer we waited the more we missed out on and hearing what we were missing out on had gotten too much and I had reached my waiting tolerance.

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Well, now we know how the story unfolded, and a few days ago I got to take Jonathan to the corn maze! Me and my boy! Something about it felt full circlish. And satisfying. And great. And to top if off he was on his best behaviour and even peed in a portapotty (this is BIG people, I was over the moon!). It was also the first day in a while that I was really excited to spend with him and didn’t dread or worry or feel down or annoyed or….perhaps my new medication is working…? But regardless, it was so nice to enjoy Jman and see him happy and think about how far we’ve come.

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And wouldn’t you know it, as we arrived at the gate guess who was also arriving? Yep, my old boss and her husband and their two newly(ish) adopted kids. Jonathan was super excited to see them and I had a good chuckle at the irony of it all.

Almost there!

Infoshare. Check.
Information overload. Check.
Meet my little boy…still waiting!

We are through some of the official business; that happened Friday and both of us, running on only a few hours of sleep, had so many names and dates and thoughts and images of seeing our little guy at preschool (man alive he is cute) running through our heads that we felt like they were going to pop right off.

The rest of the official business comes tomorrow when we formally say yes to our worker. There is also a court shindig tomorrow to wrap up a document that should never have existed in the first place, but we are expecting no issues. 

Next up, a transition plan will be put into place and we are hoping by late this week to go meet the little guy and start moving him into his forever home over the next couple of weeks!!!

So you know there’s that. Whateves. No big deal. HA!

Also, this has been happening:

Cooked my first Turkey!
 
The cats have been extra cute and extra cuddly since it got chilly out.
I took this as a sign to start making a scarf

 

Had an epic (5 hours counts as epic right?) board game night with some friends 
and an impromptu date night with my love.

 We went for a walk/hike one day…and then this happened

 I found The Jackpot. Plus we bought a few wee things for the little guy. 
You may sense a theme in his items.

 I baked banana bread today and have been slowly figuring out my dehydrator. 
You’d think it would be simpler….

I’ve also been working away on my two quilts. Perhaps I will even come close to finishing one tomorrow if I…ahem…cough…cough…stay home from work tomorrow:) Got to stay busy somehow to keep away the crazy waiting!