As we pulled up to the house one day a couple of weeks ago after a fun day of summer camp, Jonathan said to me in a quiet and not at all like him voice, “Thank you mommy for adopting me I like living here.”
After I recovered my brain from jelloville, I told him I was happy that he likes living here and that we adopted him. He then asked if we could talk about adoption so in we went inside and had a very grown up conversation over dinner. It went like this:
Jonathan explained to me his adoption story and we played the dance where I ask him questions about who he remembers and he tells me the same things and we go through the houses he lived at and I ask him questions about them and he tells me the same answers and he tells me that his first mum and dad didn’t know how to take care of him so he had to move and I asked if he wanted to meet them and says no and on and on we go around and around on repeat.
But something felt different this time and inside my head was going “JUST SAY IT JUST SAY IT JUST SAY IT JUST SAY IT”
And then I said it.
“Jonathan, I have to tell you something. You know how Anthony is your brother? You also have TWO more brothers.”
Insert screams (excited ones) and some hand flapping and bouncing in his chair. You’d think I just told him he could eat the world’s supply of ice cream.
He asked their names and I told him. He said he wanted to meet them, as in right now, and I explained that we couldn’t now but one day we would. I showed him some pictures of his brothers and explained who they lived with – their paternal grandparents, oh yeah kid you also have more grandparents don’t you know?! And then I drew him as simply as I could a family tree. He was all over it. And calm. And appropriate. The whole thing was strange and great.
Then off he went to have a bath, but not before he insisted that the family tree not be thrown out so up on the fridge it went.
A week later I asked him about the family tree and if had been thinking about his brothers or had any questions. He answered “nope” and that was that.
It was one of the more interesting conversations we had that’s for sure and I’m very proud how he ‘s handling it all so far (the next morning he slept in an extra hour and half….coincidence…? )
(Don’t judge me on my drawing skill;) )