I’m almost there. That icky burnout place. I can feel the exhaustion in my body; it’s feeling worn down, my stomach is doing weird things, my skin is getting little patchy red spots like it does when I’m stressed and no matter how much sleep I get I want more.

My mind is so full of todos and havetos that it only runs through boring lists endlessly and on repeat and it is so caught up in itself and all that needs to be done that it has been hard to focus on other people or things that matter or have an original thought or intelligent conversation. And I listen, but I’m not really listening to others when they talk to me because there is no brain power left to give them after my brain cycles through the endless todos.

I can feel the burnout coming and I know that it’s time to slow it all down, take a step back and do some reorganizing in my head and taking care of my body. It is not one thing that is making me feel like I’m on the road to burnout out, it’s been building since January – both personally and at work. A lot of lovely good things have been happening, but a lot of hard, challenging, intense things too. And that’s life, but I need a break. And I’m so happy I’m old enough, and been through it enough, to now recognize it before it gets to too far gone. There is no guilt, no shame, no anything attached to saying ‘whoa, get me off the crazy train for a few days’ anymore. It is what it is and it’s what needs to be done. I need to jump off the train for a bit. I feel lucky to be able to have learnt that lesson and I hope that everyone does too.

And the time to jump is coming very soon! I have a vacation time coming up from work that includes a trip away with Gord (first trip away from Jonathan for FOUR nights!) as well as a few days just at home. Away from work. Away from everybody. Except for me.

Some people need other people to charge their batteries. I need alone. And quiet. And puttering. Nothing I like more than a good couple days of this and that. Preferably with some sunshine, naps and junk food thrown in the mix for good measure. Alone. Did I mention I like to be alone? Me. All by myself. Shhhhhhhh…

As adopters we all know the importance of a break and self-care, although it’s not always possible to get away or take a break or recharge when it’s needed. And that’s only if you recognize that you do need it. I hope everyone can take a minute to themselves and check in to see where they are at. And if you need a break, short or long, that you somehow, someway make that happen.

For heavens sake people take care of yourself!




8 thoughts on “Burnout

  1. Right there with you. I hope you find your quiet and peace. I am thinking that I will not manage the next 2 1/2 months of work, and life with the boys, a break is needed, more sick leave coming. Enjoy your time, rest and recharge.

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