At the same time that we hit the compliant truckin’ along wall, a therapist friend met a therapist who works in adoption. Now fancy that.
A few weeks later, I’m in new therapist’s office and there’s an immediate connection. I like her. I like her a lot. She gets it. She makes sense. She makes Jonathan make sense. She’s good with him. She doesn’t just tell me “you’re doing great!” like some others have. (It’s nice and all to be complimented once in a while on how great you’re doing and all, but I’m generally sitting in somebody’s office because things aren’t great and I don’t need confidence, I need help). She is speaking my language and telling actual strategies and things I can do to create some change and forward movement in attachment with Jonathan.
New therapist lady had actual practical, concrete, strategies that I began to use immediately. She talked about brain stuff, filling in holes, anxiety and heart rates. She explained things in a way that made sense. I wanted to hug her. But I didn’t. Because I do still want her to think I’m great even if I don’t want her to tell me and if I hugged her she may not think I’m great and perhaps suggest I need therapy. Which I don’t have time for. Instead I blog.
Next week new therapist lady is going to do some EMDR work with Jonathan. I would never even think of trying this because it sounds hokey to me but, my therapist friend who just got trained in EMDR (which is how she met new therapist lady) had it done on herself and BAM! years of trauma dealt with (not completely but in in many ways). She couldn’t believe it herself. It really does seem too good to be true, but there are lots of studies out there, I trust my therapist friend and new therapist lady gave me tons of examples of how she’s used it with kids. If you want to read more about it you can click here. I shall keep you posted on how things go !
For now though, we are doing a few everyday things and are immediately seeing some push-back, which I take as a positive sign of it being effective. Man alive, I forgot how asking for help usually results in a LOT of extra work. Good thing Gord and I booked our first vacation (4 whole days) away in May! We’ll need it!