I wrote a week or so ago about my word of the year and my wee mantra that I’m trying to use to guide me along (Be more vulnerable than ever before. Be more compassionate than ever before. Be more challenged than ever before. Be more courageous than ever before).
You guys, it works.
Welllll…. it works if you do. I have it posted by my desk at work, I think of it often, I want to use it. I’m trying to use it. And this is how.
First up; I said yes to presenting at a conference with a coworker.
Yes, me. The one who has had to take Ativan to teach training’s in the past and would still need to call Gord moments before the class to calm me down and reassure me that indeed I was not going implode in front of the class and had to quit training because not sleeping and feeling nauseous for a week wasn’t worth it. Yep, I’m going to give it another go! I believe this covers the vulnerable, courageous and challenged categories quite adequately.
Second up; Ask more meaningful questions.
The idea came from Momastary, a blog I’ve mentioned in the past that I adore (I don’t always agree with everything she says but I do love her writing and her overall messages of love and kindness and supporting each other). When I talked to Gord (it’s my mantra but of course I
impose share it with everyone around me) about it we both thought that not only is it good for us, but good for the kids too. And so we’ve been doing it.
Tuning in, asking more thoughtful questions, and listening more meaningfully to the answers. And I love it.
It’s definitely a challenge to slow down and take the time to dig, to listen, to ask. It takes conscious work to ask things beyond social niceties, but it’s so lovely to connect a little more with everyone in my family at the end of the day.
Last week I wrote on our bathroom mirror: What did you do today to show somebody LOVE?
The intention was to bring some focus to the week, give us something to talk about, open up conversations about how we show love, how we each like to receive love and to just see where the question took us.
It only lasted a couple of days – hey, we’re new at this! But it was so much fun when Jonathan asked what it said. I read it and explained what it meant and asked him how could he show somebody that he loved them? He turned to me and said something about he likes when I make supper and it’s yummy. I’m not sure if he was saying he feels loved or he was trying to make me feel loved by saying something nice. But either way I knew he got it.
In our busy lives we move so fast through the day. I spend most of my energy during the day at work and it’s so easy to let things slide at home and blame it on being tired, which may be true but I don’t want to continue to use that as an excuse to not connect more with each other. To teach the importance of kindness and caring, of reflecting and thoughtfulness.
We are not perfect but we can always try to do better.
Question is, what did YOU do today to make somebody feel loved?