After writing a post a few weeks ago about receiving contact information and pictures of Jonathan’s birth family from our adoption worker, I bit the bullet and wrote to his grandparents. His grandparents live about an hour or so away in another town and have adopted two of Jonathan’s brothers who are 13 and 11. The boys know about Jonathan, although have never met him.
What I thought was going to be riddled with emotion and heartache and drama, really wasn’t all that dramatic after all. I felt that it was really important to make contact with them; knowing what I know about adoption, through reading and through blogging, and learning how important that connection to history and family is, I don’t want him to miss out on that part of his life.
I think because I felt this way, when it came down to it, it was actually very matter of fact and easy to do. I was nervous the day I sent the email. Waiting for a reply, checking the email account I had set up specifically for this about, oh, 14 times or so. But then I put it to the back of my mind.
I checked the account and there was a reply.
A lovely, kind and understanding reply.
Insert sigh of relief.
We had explained that because of Jonathan’s language and still settling in, we haven’t told him about their family. Yet. We explained that we thought it was important but we needed to give him time and would start explaining more to him beyond ‘mum and dad adopted you’ when we felt he was ready.
And they got it.
It’s such a positive experience, this first connection to Jonathan’s past. I hope that we can get to know each other and create relationships for Jonathan with all the people in his life that care for him so much.
Next step: send a letter to his birth mom through the adoption registry. I’m thinking that one will be a tad more emotion laden and slightly more nerve wracking waiting for a reply. Fingers crossed!