The Good and The Bad Update

Things continue to be nutty around here and as such I haven’t had time to write as much as I want to or as thoughtfully as I want to. But, I thought I would spit out a wee update.

First the not so great update:

A couple weeks ago we had our first ‘operation destroy my bedroom’ happen. It was a terrible day all around that stood out like a sore thumb amongst generally good days (at home anyway).
In the morning I mistakenly told Jonathan that we were having friends over that night. He happened to know the lady because she was a worker in the group home where he stayed for a few months at one point, and now who Gord works with. He clearly had some confused feelings over it all because after a disastrous hour at home of hitting and screaming I took him for a big walk to try to break the cycle but that turned into a biting, screaming, hitting match on the sidewalk.
Back at home he continued to be aggressive to the point where I put him in his room and had to hold the door closed. Every time he was calm I would go in and try to sit with him and he would again start punching and scratching so I would get up and leave and we’d start again. In the end, hours later, everything in his room was dumped and thrown and he was one tired and emotional boy. We eventually cleaned up together after having a little chat. Needless to say we cancelled out plans for the night. Lesson learned.

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I continue to miss more and more work because Jonathan has now been put on a modified schedule at school because they can’t/won’t handle him for the whole time of kindergarten…a whole 2 hours and 45 minutes. So we are now going for 1 hour and 15 minutes meaning I miss two hours of work each morning. This plus being blind sided by an arrogant and rude principal that they want to move him to another school – just temporarily, for kids who are emotionally disturbed (and where they restrain children and have time out rooms). Then they would move him back to this school. Ummm, did they not get the notice about the fact he has attachment issues?! Gord and I both refuse to move him to this school but we are not sure if we have many options left if they continue to fight us on it.
We know what needs to happen: 1. They need to get a better 1:1 aide (yes he has a full time aide, but they are terrible and he still manages to run out of class, hit kids and generally be a turkey…what is the aide doing? Good question) 2. They need to be implementing our ideas and strategies in the class room instead of punishing him and timing him out 3. They need to include him in the class and have the same expectations as the other kids instead of him coming for 1 hour and sitting at a table by himself and not being required to line up etc. This one makes me the most angry. And 4. They need to give him time; we saw the same patterns when he first moved in with us, when he first started day care and now at school. He needs time.
I’m so grateful I work for a flexible company who understands that I need to take time off for meetings, emails, late drop offs etc. but at some point they are going to have to say enough is enough if things continue like this. My goal is to have it resolved by Christmas but that may be wishful thinking.

Now the fun stuff!

Two weekends ago our fire stations had open houses. Jonathan has a thing for all things emergency, but firetrucks dominate his love. I took him and he was so stunned he held my hand as we walked into the station (or ‘spaceship’ as he calls it) and was quiet for about 21 seconds. He got to climb all over the trucks and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile so big:)

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Last weekend was Thanksgiving and Gord and I were very thankful to a wonderful support in our life for watching Jonathan while we got to have a mini getaway down to Montana. It was so, so quiet and wonderful. The hotel was amazing with fantastically delicious food and it was really nice for it to be just the two of us.

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Now, I am currently working on a plan buy a log cabin in the mountains and grow carrots for my 2 horses that I will board while I sew on the side and Gord teaches. A girl can dream…

Hoping that this week is a quiet one:)

 

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4 thoughts on “The Good and The Bad Update

  1. Keep dreaming, it will keep you going through the tough times.

    Thank you for the balanced blog, I smiled when I saw his face at the fire station and felt an empathy that I struggle with ‘in the moment’ with my kids.

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