Leaky Castle

This week we got news that Jonathan’s biological parents received his new health care card in the mail by mistake. By BIG mistake.

The one that we applied for so carefully so as not to link his old records with his new ones. The one that when we called to apply for we said ‘no sorry, I don’t have his old health number or any other information’ so that this does not happen. Yeah, that one.

That castle wall of safety and security we’ve been working on to protect this little guy from anything bad happening again, feels like ti’s crumbling. And a tad leaky. And a lot vulnerable.

This card has his changed name, his new name. His new health number. Information that is highly private and confidential and against a lot of laws to share with anybody but me. And the letter that came with it probably had my name on it too, we think (it’s one of the many questions we are currently trying to have answered). So potentially they can find our address, our phone numbers, this blog…

Alberta Health is ‘looking into it’ and have apologized. Which is I guess all they can do.

But it doesn’t change the fact that people have this information who shouldn’t. For many reasons, they just shouldn’t have it. Period.

Big Issue. Big conflict within.

I’m mad at the worker who made this mistake, but we all make mistakes

I want them to pay somehow for what they’ve done (the worker, Alberta Health, I don’t care who, but somebody), but what difference is that going to make?

I’m unsettled that we have to be second guessing ourselves about back of the head photos, blurry photos, whether we locked the door, if he should play outside by himself in the yard…We shouldn’t have been put in this situation.

I’m anxious that they might show up at our door, or call me, out of the blue and I was not prepared to deal with any of this for years to come.

I’m upset because every time we fill out a form or give somebody his full name we will wonder where that information is going and if the wrong people will access it.

And I’m sad for him because when Jonathan gets older he may not have the choice to contact his birth mum and dad, not if they choose to find him first. And that’s so unfair to this boy.

Not knowing what might happen is a terrible feeling.

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10 thoughts on “Leaky Castle

  1. That is one massive mistake, oh my I am shocked. I can understand the enormous anxiety this has created for you and your family. Are your social services involved in sorting the situation? I’m sure it is all very raw at the moment and you must do all you need to to keep yourselves safe and I hope maybe the outcome will not be as terrible as you fear. Thinking of you at this stressful time. I hope writing it helped to of load some of the anger and upset. Thanks for linking up with the Weekly Adoption Shout Out

    • Thanks Sara. I hope the outcome is going to be much better than I fear, the chances of them tracking us down and showing up are slim, it’s just that unknown piece is so hard. Thanks:)

  2. It won’t help you to know that terrible errors like this happen all the time. I am a contact advocate, but as you say it has to be *planned* and secure and right. There is no going back on this error. after all the care you have to take every day, with one shoddy moment by someone else it is all undone. Have you received any advice on how to handle it with his family, to address all the issues you list? They need to be communicated with surely? Feel for you, and here if you need anything Mxx

    • Social Services has told us this isn’t the first time it’s happened, sadly enough. We are open to contact, but not right now and not this way – as you say, planned and secure and right. We have a contact name at AB Health to ask questions to and unless the bio parents contact our social worker, they won’t contact them to ask any questions, so not knowing where they are at is where the anxiety comes in. Thank for the support:)

  3. You are wise and generous in you’re words above – you’re right we all make mistakes, and someone paying won’t change anything. But I totally understand your frustrations and conflict, as I’m sure I would not only be angry…furious, I would be worried and unprepared.
    I hope this can somehow be resolved, or you can be reassured, and that you are supported with any issues that might arise.
    Take care, and thanks for linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out x

  4. so sorry that this has happened – and hope that it will all become a secure catsle for you all – very soon – and that the fear of the unknown will become less of a potential reality as things are put in place to ensure your safety and yes, an apology and explanation as to how this all too often mistake has occured.

  5. oh my god! I can’t believe something like this could happen and has, it is horrendous, I really hope that nothing comes from it and that you don’t have to worry too much. My thoughts are with you at this time

    • Thanks so much for the support. I was reading some of your blog and sounds like you are at a very exciting point in adoption, I look forward to reading more:)

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