We are officially approved and signed off…and now we wait. This whole process has been fairly simple and straightforward, and if you take out all the emotional drama that comes hand in hand with adoption, it’s actually been a painless journey.
Except the waiting.
The not knowing what is happening next and when it is going to happen is terrible. We’ve heard this next phase could take a couple of weeks, or a month, and that some people wait up to a year without a whisper of news (we know it won’t be that long since we may already have a match with a boy we know about) but no matter how short or long it ends up being, I know I won’t do it with grace. With ease. Or any other nice words that I would want to describe myself with. I wish I could but I’m all over the map already. I cry, I gush, I’m excited, I’m frustrated…in short, I’m crazy. I have a meeting at work and think “is this my last?” We pass through a weekend that Anthony goes to his moms and I think “is this the last kid free weekend ever?!” But then another meeting comes and another weekend comes and I feel a teensy bit more loopy.
But, I am optimistic that in our case the wait won’t be too long. Knowing a bit of what is going on behind the scenes (because of our jobs) is helpful and I find some comfort in it. We keep telling everyone, including ourselves, “could be 2 or 3 weeks now”. But we’ve been saying that for a few weeks and it’s lost it’s time-meaning, but I think I’m going to stick with it ’cause 2 or 3 weeks sounds doable. I can day dream about snuggles on the couch, hot chocolate picnics on cool fall days in the park, plan and find more free things to do with a 4 year in the city, collect toilet paper roles and yogurt containers (yes I really am) But only for 2 or 3 more weeks. Then I’m hitting the crazy button!
In the meantime, I’m off to pull some potatoes out of the garden and pit some cherries for cherry jam to try to keep myself busy. We shall keep you posted on the waiting.