A week from tomorrow we start our ‘training’, 4 days over 2 weekends to talk all adoption; process, challenges the kids may have, logistics, etc. I think Gord and I could probably teach some of the classes and I’m sure we will be irritated by some of the mis-information (I’m just assuming…I know that’s wrong but I can’t help it) or bored by the basics.
But whatever! This process feels sloooow. I’m a ‘think it do it girl’ and I do not like to wait for things. At least going to the workshops, no matter the content (and I know too that there will be some questions answered so it’s not all terrible and pessimistic) is doing something. It’s one more step in the right direction and one step close to having a freaking kid! A real human!
And that’s the other thing. I don’t know if this is what pregnant women go through, but there are times when it feel like we are just going through the motions – checking the boxes, talking to each other about the what if’s, talking to Anthony about it, planning a bit around time off, what days may look like etc., but it all seems to be very logical and linear and just what has to be done. And then, there’s these moments where I freak out a bit, get butterflies, and yes there may be a tear or two, and realize that this is real. This is happening. And one day very soon there will be a small child sleeping/crying/playing/pooping/ and just being, simply existing in the room that is mere feet from where I’m sitting right now. We’ll let them out of the room too:) But holy shit; a kid! My kid! And it all suddenly doesn’t feel so logical and far away but absolutely crazy. And wonderful. And right.